Sunday, September 26, 2010

THE TALK

These thoughts are mine. They may be shared by many but I am speaking for myself. If you are offended, it was not intentional. If you continually get offended by my positions and opinions, you should change, I doubt I will.

SEPTEMBER 26, 2010


Unfortunately, we all get old. Before we get old, our parents and grandparents get old. We watch and feel as we age and become less sharp, less nimble, less energetic and less attentive. Our hearing becomes selective or just fails; the eyes become weaker and the glasses become thicker with the preface “bi” or “tri” becoming part of the prescription. Our weight shifts downward after tears of being under gravities pull. The bathroom scale becomes harder to see even though the numbers are getting larger.

Many of us remember Pearl Harbor, the Vietnam War, the Kennedy assassination, Nixon, 9/11, several economic bulls and bears. A few even remember Armistice Day. Most of us were born in this great country. Some were not.

We raised our children,; a few of us buried a child. We all have buried aunts, uncles, grandparents and some parents. We have buried friends and their parents and grandparents. Some have been divorced, more than once for the slow learners. We have seen our children get married or at least live with someone like a married couple. A few just had children with no formalities whatsoever. Our grandchildren have grown and in many cases gotten married or had children of their own.

Some of us have buried our first and even second spouses.

The house has aged with us. Those stairs are harder to climb. The laundry in the basement is a pain. It needs repairs as often as we do. Now, it has let us down by losing value. Our retirement nest egg is not what it used to be.

We see the doctor more often. We see doctors who specialize in things we didn’t know even existed. Movies are all in color. TV shows now contain words and scenes we felt uncomfortable with when watching a movie with our best gal on a Saturday night at the show years ago. Our kids were not allowed to go to those types of movies until they were at least old enough to drive. At least that was our plan.

Crime has always been around but never as violent as it is today. There is also more crime because many things we did years ago, things we viewed as harmless, are now illegal. We used to know the name of the police around our town or neighborhood. We did not have or need police in the schools.

Times don’t change, people do.

Every day we see our parents, grandparents or even our spouse struggle with dally, routine chores or tasks. At some point we have to have that uneasy talk about taking the car keys away or getting hearing aids. Even more important issues, financial issues must be discussed and a plan enacted. Often times older people who live alone are lonely. When the phone rings or they see a number to call to buy the ‘Clapper’, they answer the phone or dial the number just to talk to someone. Before long, our loved ones are being separated from their money.

Tomorrow I will provide a checklist and questionnaire we should use when having that tough talk with our aging loved ones. The questionnaire will be good for everyone to fill out.


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BRUCE A. BRENNAN